Recap of the 3rd Annual
Faith Sommerfield Memorial Lecture
We filled an auditorium with stories about life and loss, and out of it grew a conversation about how no one is truly alone. On September 18, 2025 the Completed Life Initiative hosted the 3rd Annual Faith Sommerfield Memorial Lecture, featuring Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jennifer Senior and renowned bioethicist Dr. Arthur Caplan. Here are our top six takeaways from this engaging and lively conversation on grief.
6. Grief can begin long before death.
Grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline. For many who receive a terminal diagnosis, grief begins at the diagnosis. For some, grief feels like a stage of life that’s experienced both by those receiving the diagnosis and by those who love them.
5. Having hard conversations can give your loved ones the gift of peace.
Dr. Arthur Caplan mentioned that a common issue in patient care is that many people have not assigned specific people to be their medical decision makers. Starting conversations about advance care planning with your loved ones can bring you closer together and will equip your loved ones with the reassurance that they will be able to take care of you in the future.
4. In Hawai’i, the practice of Ho’oponopono offers a way to bring closure at the end of life.
Jennifer Senior spoke about Ho’oponopono, which is the practice of exchanging four simple truths with your loved ones before they die: I’m sorry. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.
3. We are still feeling the effects of grief from COVID.
Jennifer Senior and Dr. Arthur Caplan reflected on the isolation that many people experienced during the COVID pandemic, especially in elderly living facilities. They noted that our society is still working through the collective grief of not being able to properly say goodbye to our loved ones.
2. Trust the data.
Dr. Arthur Caplan explained that he was initially opposed to medical aid-in-dying, fearing it might put pressure on vulnerable communities. However, he changed his mind once he saw the empirical evidence that there have been no cases of medical aid-in-dying abuse since it first became legal in the United States almost 30 years ago.
1. Grief is a form of love.
Attributed to Freud, this concept of grief is a favorite of Jennifer Senior’s. It makes space for the idea that some people may never stop grieving.
The Completed Life Initiative hosts the Faith Sommerfield Memorial Lecture in commemoration of Faith Sommerfield, the late founder of the Completed Life Initiative. Partnering with Columbia University’s M.S. in Bioethics Program, we hold the lecture every year as both a tribute and a platform to advance critical conversations around end-of-life care, personal autonomy, and the right to die with dignity.